Poopalooza

I've seen people leave it distributed throughout their back yards, seemingly oblivious to the filth that surrounds them.  It's the absolute WORST form of PIGGERY I can imagine, and it AIN'T happenin' HERE.

Graphic from the (Dog)spired blog.

It's Cayley's job to pick it up in a timely manner, but guess what - it doesn't always happen in a timely manner.

So in those untimely cases, *I* doo it, but I won't doo it without compensation, hence the Poopalooza system we developed, which we log (pun intended) via an aptly-titled refrigerator calendar, and which works as follows:

(1) Every time I have to pick up a day's worth of dog poop, she loses five bucks off her allowance (currently set at twenty bucks a week).

(2) Every time I accidentally STEP in some of it, there's a ten dollar gross-out surcharge on top of the associated disposal charge.

Get it??  Poop-a-looz-a, because she loses her cash??  Duh, I'm a poet!!

This penalty system can prove to be fairly costly to her, with my haul sometimes exceeding $25 per day (like today, which is what inspires me to write). 

Poopalooza begs the following question: what should I eventually doo with my accumulated financial windfall??



From a Google ad that po(o)pped up as I was writing this entry, believe it or not. 
Well, OF COURSE you can believe it. 
It's GOOGLE, afterall.

I have the perfect, PERFECT answer to that: custom shoes from Foot Solutions of Houston.  My achy, severely-arched, undersized princess feet have longed for them for fifteen years now, but I could not in good conscience spend upwards of five hundred bucks (!) on a pair of individually-crafted shoes, regardless of how much savings I have accumulated.

But this is different.  It's only a propos
(or perhaps a poopos??)
that I take the shoes that have had to be sprayed off with the garden hose so many times, and replace them with an
improvement-in-kind.

As for Cayley, if she consistently fails to field the feces to the point where she completely runs out of allowance, then the shit will REALLY hit the fan, because I won't stop with Poopalooza.  TV, computer and iPad will follow on the forfeiture front.