Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I've seen people leave it distributed throughout their back yards, seemingly oblivious to the filth that surrounds them.  It's the absolute WORST form of PIGGERY I can imagine, and it AIN'T happenin' HERE.
Graphic from the (Dog)spired blog.
It's Cayley's job to pick it up in a timely manner, but guess what - it doesn't always happen in a timely manner.

So in those untimely cases, *I* doo it, but I won't doo it without compensation, hence the Poopalooza system we developed, which we log (pun intended) via an aptly-titled refrigerator calendar, and which works as follows:

(1) Every time I have to pick up a day's worth of dog poop, she loses five bucks off her allowance (currently set at twenty bucks a week).

(2) Every time I accidentally STEP in some of it, there's a ten dollar gross-out surcharge on top of the associated disposal charge.

Get it??  Poop-a-looz-a, because she loses her cash??  Duh, I'm a poet!!

This penalty system can prove to be fairly costly to her, with my haul sometimes exceeding $25 per day (like today, which is what inspires me to write). 

Poopalooza begs the following question: what should I eventually doo with my accumulated financial windfall??

From a Google ad that po(o)pped up as I was writing this entry, believe it or not. 
Well, OF COURSE you can believe it. 
It's GOOGLE, afterall.
I have the perfect, PERFECT answer to that: custom shoes from Foot Solutions of Houston.  My achy, severely-arched, undersized princess feet have longed for them for fifteen years now, but I could not in good conscience spend upwards of five hundred bucks (!) on a pair of individually-crafted shoes, regardless of how much savings I have accumulated.

But this is different.  It's only a propos
(or perhaps a poopos??)
that I take the shoes that have had to be sprayed off with the garden hose so many times, and replace them with an

As for Cayley, if she consistently fails to field the feces to the point where she completely runs out of allowance, then the shit will REALLY hit the fan, because I won't stop with Poopalooza.  TV, computer and iPad will follow on the forfeiture front.

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