I resolve to...

Lawrence: "To keep doing what I'm doing, and not get fired from work - that's my resolution every year."

Cayley: "To be a better person, to have more patience, and to be nicer to people."

Alison:  "To be a better person, to have more patience, and to be nicer to people... and also to buy a better quality bottle of champagne for next New Year's."

:-)

Happy New Year to all!

The latest gizmo

It originated as a classic example of gender differences:  what the female sees as nothing more than an interesting conversational tidbit is interpreted by the male as an urgently-actionable issue. 

In this case, the informational tidbit was my observation that our current electricity usage seems perplexingly high.  Our new house is Energy Star rated and our SUMMER e-bills are quite low relative to those of the general population.  The trouble is, those bills didn't drop as much as I expected once the WINTER came and the air conditioning system stopped running. 

In my old house, summer bill = 3x winter bill.  Here, summer bill = 1.5x winter bill.  Anyone who lives in the south knows that makes no intuitive sense: air conditioners are supreme energy pigs, consuming way, WAY more than all other consumer devices.  We should not be having only a third of our total bill devoted to the a/c, so I don't know if this apparently-high baseline usage is simply due to the chronic load we put on our system (remember, I run my entire office out of the house), or whether there are serious bleeds and inefficiencies. 

Enter The Engineer and his credit card for the prompt purchase of a TED monitoring system:

One could question the wisdom of spending two hundred bucks on an energy monitor, but the thing might end up paying for itself.
http://www.theenergydetective.com/store/ted-5000

So now there's now a gizmo attached to our exterior electrical panel and another gizmo plugged into an interior wall socket.  And a dizzying array of statistical bullshit emerges from the use of these two pieces of hardware:

This is a small part of what comes across the internet interface.  The other two members of the family are still asleep as I write this, so this basically represents my three oversized monitors coupled to the computer upon which I type, one five-CF-bulb chandelier suspended over my conference table, our huge freezer, and whatever other lights and devices have been left on or are idling or participating in the slow bleed that originates with otherwise-inactive devices siphoning power.

TED has only been running for a couple of days now, but this looks suspiciously like the part that is apparently leading to those perplexingly-high e-bills.  We are running the house in our normal fashion for the next few weeks just so we can get a complete "before" picture prior to instituting behavioral and device changes.

Anyway, this is yet another fascinating foray into the kind of life workings to which one usually doesn't devote much conscious attention.  We can certainly afford our e-bills, but that's not the point.  In general I don't like waste - I think it's unconscionable.  If this can answer for us the question as to whether or not there are ways to trim our usage while not impairing functionality, then it's a worthwhile exercise both financially and mentally. 

Longitudinal longings

I have not yet produced a travelogue of our 2010 trip to Nova Scotia (what will become Long Journey Chapter 3) in part because I wanted to expound upon 2008's and 2009's creative efforts by showcasing this one from a longitudinal perspective, and to do that involved waiting.   

It's hard to explain, but I just had an overwhelming sense that this effort had to be all about TIME:  the nature, passage, and effects of it - our relationship with it as we struggle through it in our humanity.

At no point was this feeling stronger than when we visited Dominion Beach, which was opened this past summer for the first time in a long time - five years (public access had been prohibited following pollution by untreated sewage).

Cayley takes her leaping littorally, with the Lingan thermal generating station silhouetted in the background.

The beautiful boardwalk in particular reminded me so strongly of the arrow of time, which only ever points toward the future.

We're all moving thataway, straight ahead, full steam.

She's still so young... Lawrence is ahead of her on his journey through spacetime, and I'm significantly ahead of them both, but sometimes I see things as if I'm actually living in multiple moments, which is perceptually the same as living in no discrete moments at all.

Most of Dominion Beach, including this boardwalk, was destroyed by a massive storm that hit right before Christmas.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nova-scotia/story/2010/12/29/ns-dominion-beach-a-disaster-zone-councillor.html 

The newspapers don't yet have photo coverage, but of course someone posted a timely video on YouTube:

Same thermal generating station, very different day.
Screengrab courtesy of 1996beardeddragon's crude but revealing video as embedded below.

Time has passed, and the beach is now essentially gone, leaving a rocky erosive scar in its place.  I don't know what the future will bring, but this is the way things are in this moment.  As usual, there's much metaphorical fodder in all this, which I will continue to contemplate as the journey unfolds.

"At one time, thousands of people visited Dominion Beach every day during the summer, making it one of the most popular beaches in Nova Scotia."
-From the newspaper URL cited above.

"The past is right here, all around us - it's just that we can't access it."
-Researcher being interviewed on a TV science documentary produced earlier in 2010.  I didn't catch his name, but it might have been Sean Carroll (if I could go back in time, I'd find out for sure).

Heroes: Greg Mortenson

Thoughtful bloggers flank their daily entries with a variety of gadgets and frames which often include thumbnails of their favorite folks.  I want to expound upon that idea by explaining why I find each of my choices to be inspirational.
*****************
Greg Mortenson got lost one day in 1993 while descending from a climb of the world's second highest mountain.  He wandered into a remote village in northern Pakistan and decided that they should have a school.  The institute that he established has since built 130 schools and educated 51,000 children in Pakistan and Afghanistan, most of them girls. 

Cayley and I read Greg's book "Three Cups of Tea" together about a year ago.  It's an extraordinary story!  His thesis is simple: help tribal peoples to develop their own education and economic opportunities so that membership in terrorist organizations such as the Taliban is no longer the only viable option for many of them.

Greg Mortenson is going to win the Nobel Peace Prize - the only question is when. 

With schoolchildren in rural Pakistan.
Courtesy of the Central Asia Institute
(http://www.ikat.org/)

I was thinking that it might be this year, but now I'm glad that it hasn't happened yet.  For as long as he continues to operate without it, he'll continue to grow his influence in a way that derives from his intrinsic authenticity rather than his impending increase in fame. 

This is particularly important now that he has formed an alliance with powerful Houstonian Joanne King Herring. 

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/7354630.html

Movie-goers may recognize her as the pivotal female in Charlie Wilson's War, the breathtaking story of how one backwoods Texas Congressman (who got elected in large part because he let his constituents know that his mean-spirited rival had intentionally killed his dog) changed the course of human history by spearheading the effort to fund the defeat of the Soviets in Afghanistan in the early 1980's. 

That story was particularly effective because it showcased the type of American-spirited underdogs who we all secretly hope will save us from further suffocating decline at the hands of our obscenely-overbuilt bureaucracy.  Big names and international medal winners don't accomplish the type of turnaround that these people did.  Only maverick individuals operating mostly under the radar and entirely according to their own rules can be expected to out-wit the system.

That Mortenson has now allied with Herring represents the ultimate in closure.  In early 2010, Charlie Wilson died knowing that the work in Afghanistan was only half done: the country was liberated but was left in the type of shambles that seeds radical militarism.  Mortenson independently arose to face that challenge and now he is working with the only other person in this country who has a successful track record of making a difference there.  I find this incredibly satisfying:  it was meant to be.

A school built in Afghanistan.

Lawrence's mother is involved with community development work in Fort Bend County and she once mentioned to us that there are something like four thousand registered nonprofit agencies in that county alone.  FOUR THOUSAND??!!?  Imagine how many there are nation-wide!! 

It's hard to imagine any single organization rising above the deafening din of charitable solicitations with which we all must contend, but that's what the Central Asia Institute did for me - it stood out as a clear choice for my donations.  On this page, CAI lists typical costs associated with school-building and school-running.  Six hundred dollars pays a teacher's salary for one year!   If I give $600 to my church, they might use it to keep the lights on for a few weeks, duh.  I must say, I find it much more fulfilling to think that the same sum could support an entire teacher!


Compare these costs with the cost of ongoing war in Afghanistan, currently estimated at
FOUR BILLION DOLLARS PER MONTH
(http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/03/07/AR2008030702846.html)

And this isn't just another in an endless stream of American imperialist efforts either - if you read "Three Cups of Tea" you can see the degree of cultural adaptation and sensitivity that they have embraced in building this educational infrastructure. 

Greg Mortenson is the real deal: a selfless American hero setting phenomenal outreach and personal excellence examples for the rest of us.

Terrific touche'

In my Christmas Day post, I explained the following regarding the fact that Cayley is perfect:

Sure, I let [Cayley] know about the little mistakes that she makes (like leaving her dirty socks on the couch and not picking up the dog poop from the back yard), and she still has lots to learn as she grows up, but that stuff does not make her imperfect - it just means that she's young!


So yesterday as we were loading the car for a rare overnight trip to her father's house, she scolded me for locking the front door before she'd had a chance to retrieve her precious iPad, locking it after she had apparently told me she needed to go back in. 
 
My response was... whatever... and I explained that I actively try to keep my brain uncluttered, so I don't necessarily internalize every single comment that gets directed my way.  No big deal, just re-open the door and fetch the iPad.
 
When she climbed back into the car, she looked at me with a wicked gleam in her eye and said, "Just because you forget things and don't always listen to me, it does not make you imperfect - it just means that you're old!"
 
:-)

Crucifying the cruciferous

Native Americans used to honor the animals they slaughtered for food.  I'd like to do the same for the first broccoli I've ever grown. 

It got a lot larger, even in the time since
Cayley posed with it just four days ago.

Cayley wasn't even here to share the moment with me, because she's visiting paternal family who are in town, but the decapitation had to be done tonight.  Tomorrow it would have been past its prime.  This I could tell.

A right proper specimen.

The underside.  Reportedly, gypsy broccoli crowns are not supposed to get as large as conventionals, because they divert part of their energy to their side-shoots.  This guy is fairly large.  I can't tell you how many people tell me in their personal modes of absolute God-given certainty that we can't grow a comparable volume of food using organic methods, because organic yields are so vastly inferior.  Well, I'm not feelin' it: here's a damned big broccoli that I grew in my first six weeks of stumbling through the effort as an absolute Newbie. 
Looks pretty convincing to ME.

The proverbial moment of truth.

Steamed, not too severely, with butter and salt. 

First observation was visual: you probably cannot tell from the photo, but if someone unknown to me had served me this bowl, I might not have eaten it.  It was more intensely green than the grocery store stuff (even the g-store organics), and that would have raised my suspicions about it possibly being color-enhanced.

Second observation was sensory: it didn't taste like grocery store broccoli.  There were whole ranges of tastes that were absent (tough and sharp sensations and bitter undertones) and other tastes that were present (smooth and deep sensations like being in a thick forest in the middle of the night).  Were I a wine-taster or something, I might have better English vocabulary for this.   The best analogy I can give you is that it was the broccoli-equivalent of one of those very large, incredibly expensive mushrooms.  Have you ever had one of those gourmet mushrooms prepared in a fancy restaurant such that the mushroom actually comes out tasting like some sort of complexly-flavored meat rather than like a slab of fungus?   Like the thing in itself is a meal.  That's what this bowl of broccoli was like.  It was just a single vegetable, but it ate like a meal in itself.  I'm not kidding. 

Third observation was intellectual: the first coherent sentence through my mind was, "I would pay big bucks for stuff this good if I could buy it at the farmers market or a specialty store."  It was REALLY good.  I'm not just saying that because I grew it.  Lawrence had a piece and said it was certainly the best he's ever had in his life (and he hates broccoli). 

Fourth observation was emotional:  I was kinda bummed when I realized that I would not be able to buy the likes of it at any price, anywhere.  It simply doesn't exist in the outside world.

I saved about half the head for Cayley (who genuinely likes broccoli, although perhaps not as much as I do).  She HAS to try this.  She has to learn what food is SUPPOSED to taste like, what it DID taste like before industrialization took over virtually our entire food system.  Even if she doesn't get to eat many of these kinds of things throughout her life, I want to see the old wisdom carried forth, at least in the form of awareness. 

People are obese now in part because they don't eat a normal-calorie diet base that includes lots of vegetables.  And they don't eat vegetables because the vegetables available for sale taste like shit.  And they taste like shit because they're grown in industrial settings calibrated for sheer quantity regardless of whether or not the stuff is actually edible.  If we could just have properly-grown vegetables, people would enjoy them and the act of eating them would no longer be seen as the burden it has become.  And they might then just naturally get thinner and healthier.

It's one thing to explain that causality to a kid.  It's a much more powerful lesson for her to actually experience it. 

This whole gardening thing is fascinating.  I have no idea what to expect next.

Christmas candor

First a few fun shots, and then a seasonal anecdote.

Someone was hoping Santa would bring
an iPad for Christmas...
Does it appear to have happened?!?  :-) 

Here's the dog in a state of abject misery because
Cayley is paying attention to something other than her. 
Does that furry face not say it all??
(Click the photo for a close-up of her tragic eyes)

Of course, Cayley insisted on wrapping a gift for her...
and she's perfectly capable of unwrapping it herself.

Yet another toy waranted to be indestructable...
and we're betting it won't last a week. 
Incidentally, this is the only dog I've ever seen who
uses her paws like hands to the extent that she does.

And of course we had to add an ornament to our memory tree
to mark the year that Nyx came. 
I even attempted to brindle it with a fine-point Sharpie.

I'm not a big fan of posed shots,
but it's our first year in this house, so...

OK, now for the anecdote:
to tea, or not to tea - that is the question.

One of my New Year's resolutions is to work even harder on communicating to Cayley that I really do think that she's already perfect.  She is obsessed with pleasing me despite my daily reiteration that she effectively has no room for improvement. 

I keep reality-checking myself, trying to figure out what subconscious message I might be transmitting to the contrary, because she acts as if I'm not walking the walk.  Sure, I let her know about the little mistakes that she makes (like leaving her dirty socks on the couch and not picking up the dog poop from the back yard), and she still has lots to learn as she grows up, but that stuff does not make her imperfect - it just means that she's young!
:-)

Case in point on the urge-to-please-Mama issue: the annual hairball surrounding holiday gift-giving.  I apparently make things difficult by being honest about the fact that there is no gift I could possibly receive that could hold a candle to the gifts life has already provided to me in the form of Cayley, Lawrence, our good health and incredible life prosperity.  I want for nothing, need nothing. 

But my proclamations of existing satisfaction are apparently unconvincing, because she wants to "wow" me with gifts.  This year, she found a unique way to do it.  Every Christmas, Grandaddy Canada sends a nice-sized money order so that we can all avoid bad experiences with international air mail (to send actual gifts is a risky proposition).  We buy ourselves gifts with these.  Well, this year, both Lawrence and I decided that we wanted to give our shares to Cayley.  But Cayley promptly turned around and devoted ALL those funds to an authentic cast-iron traditional Japanese tea set for me:

I could have lived my entire life without this and been perfectly happy, but I DID want to start drinking green tea more rigorously, for the health benefits (transhumanist Ray Kurzweil legendarily drinks ten cups per day). 

Now here's where it gets a bit curious, because right after opening this extraordinary gift from Cayley, Lawrence and I opened this one from Uncle Suresh and his family:

Quantum enmeshment's got NUTHIN' on this stuff.
Do you hear the Twilight Zone theme in your head??

It's true that I DID need a tea pot of some sort for my burgeoning green tea habit - I have not owned a tea pot of any kind in more than twenty years.  And ordinarily it might be less than ideal to receive two of them within a span of five minutes, but in OUR case, it's actually quite helpful, because Cayley has decided that she does not like Japanese imperial green tea.  She thinks it smells like lawn clippings (many connoisseurs would bust a gut laughing over that comparison, given that it costs about $160 per pound!).  Therefore, when I brew tea for us, I need to make two small pots:  one green, and another of a flavor that she does like.

Compound moral of the anecdote:  Money is a much better gift than popular opinion makes it out to be.  It's not cold and thoughtless - it actually facilitates the maximum potential for expression and creativity. 

I actually perceived that for the first time last year, when I gave twenty dollar bills to each of Cayley's closest friends and then turned them all loose in the shopping mall so that they could indulge themselves.  One of the girls squeezed her twenty until it screamed, managing to buy little gifts for every one of her many siblings and absolutely nothing for herself.  I was absolutely floored to see that depth of selflessness and caring in an eleven-year-old, and I'm so glad that I gave her cash instead of buying her some Cheap Shit From China.  Cash is what fulfilled her because she didn't have any of it and it allowed her to treat her sisters in a way that she would not otherwise have been able to do. 

Similarly, I've witnessed something profound in Cayley's use of her cash, and it's something I obviously needed to learn.  I don't think I deserve that expensive tea set, but maybe if I scarf enough green tea, I'll live long enough to make good on what I owe to the beautiful Cayley but perhaps have not been totally providing thus far. 

Happy holidays to all.